School holiday yet frustrated.
Thursday, 23 May 2013 | 3:56 pm | 0 comments
man, this is totally me ;~~;
Assalamualaikum&good evening to all people. Hello? Yeah, been ages I havent post an update. My life? Pretty sucks. Yeah, school holiday baby!!!! <3 Yay. Yay. Yay. But....................... I dont have this excited feelings even a bit :'C Well, today is the last day of mid-term examination.
This happened. At class,
I was sleeping, and that time was the last paper. Pendidikan Seni. After I'm done, Puan Intan said; Siapa dah siap? Lepasni kita tanda paper GEO. And, I was like? Does teacher is trying to make me explodes? I mean, GEO paper was today. And it was terrible. It was hard. I got an A. Well, just kidding. I got a B. That's what Syafikah said. I'm not so sure. I think I got C for GEO. /long sigh/ Haih, idk. We didnt mark our own paper anyway :< Shazlin marked my paper, but she forgot how much or did she purposely forget it. I don't know. I'm so frustrated. When I heard that we're marking our paper, I keep praying to Allah so that I'll get B or A at least. I hope Syafikah is true that I really get B for GEO.
Amin. 7 papers left. I DO NOT EXPECT ANYTHING FROM MATHS PAPER. I AM SERIOUS. I think I'll get a low marks. Seriously, even PK(s) got low marks for paper 1. How about me? I wanna cry so bad right now, mid-term doesn't change my attitude even a bit. I took it seriously, but I don't know. I have this really bad feelings. I think I've done my superb best. But, I just don't........ know. I just wish that I'll be as smart as others.
Hah. I have too much negative feelings. I can't enjoy the holidays. Fucking what for is the holidays when I'm not happy even a bit!? Hmm, well this may sounds weird. But I don't want to know my marks, not even one of them. Will teachers keep my papers and don't ever tell me? So that I won't be sad and negatives feelings might go away from my life. Will them? :<< Probably no.
I'm so doomed. Devastated. Sad. Frustrated. Fucking unhappy. Just............................ I want to quit school. Sorta. I'm so jealous of other students who are smarter than me. I want to go fucking out from 3pp. I want to change class. I don't care as long as its not PP. No, I'm not saying that I hate our teachers or the students. It's just me who can't beat them. I do not deserve in the first class. Well, the others does. Except me.
No one like seriously no one understand me, maybe? They won't know what I've been through&how my life is. They just think 'Oh yeah, you're a smart girl bla bla bla' Is it just because I'm in 3PP. It's nothing lah. People are same. Why nak bezakan taraf class? Just because you are smarter, then you stay in upper class. Bla bla bla, I really hate that. I'm thankful for what I get, but you know this post might annoys people. Because, you guys do not understand me. That's it.
Alhamdulillah. I am thankful of what I have and everything. You guys won't ever and ever understand me. When people says they understand me, well you got it wrong, dude.
I'm outta here. Bye. Assalamualaikum.
/long sigh/